September 12,2006.. I went to school and in class asked Ms.Daly if I could use the restroom, afterward when I tried buttoning and zipping my pants they were too tight, I was like, are you kidding me, I just gained weight in like 5 seconds?! I finally sucked in enough to get them buttoned. I came to class and turned around to Makenze and said, 'we've gotta go get me a pregnancy test after school. I only have $4 or $5 til Wednesday (when I was to get paid) tho so we've gotta get the cheapest one. I can't do it tho, I can't go in. Will you do it?" of course she jumped to save the day just like she always does, Makenze is definitely one person I've always been able to count on to help me out in any situation. After the bell rang we got in her white Buick :) and it began to rain. It was then when I was thinking rain was bad luck, I just had a feeling the rain was a symbol of something big about to happen. Although we giggled the whole ride to Wal Mart that I wasn't gonna be pregnant. She goes in and I drive around with the windshield wipers going slowly. It seemed like forever til she came out. Finally we were off to her dad's house so we could eat pizza and oh yeah, take a pregnancy test. She was in the kitchen putting the pizza in the oven and I walked back to her dad's bathroom. Memories of when we were kids growing up in that house just flooded back to me, the big tub where me & Kenz played barbies and hair salon and other silly games. That bathroom has so many memories to me! I start shaking as I open up the test and 'do my thing' and there it is, not even seconds later, in bright purple, a Plus sign. "YES!" I thought, I could have sworn a plus meant not pregnant (I was obviously delirious or in denial orrr both) I looked at the paper and I had read it wrong. Plus meant PREGNANT. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I couldn't stand up! Makenze knocks and I don't say anything, then she comes in with a smile, thinking it was going to say negative. "well??" "Makenze it says I'm pregnant" tears are shed and she says "what do you want me to do?!" then I literally cried out "CALL EVERYONEEEE!!!" and just sat there and cried til Blake Katharine and Breanna showed up at her house. I remember breanna coming in with a Burger King bag as if it were a party and everything was joe cool! Blake and katharine had been on their way to Calhoun but were such good friends they skipped class to comfort their friend. Alyssa had started her first job at Preston's that day, otherwise I know she would've been there too. I remember lifting up my shirt and being like, "Yall! Do I LOOK pregnant!?" Everyone shouts a No! NO Way! Whether or not it was to make me feel better, I guess they did. We went into Lacee's room and layed on her bed and we all cried. We all knew ALL of our lives were about to change for good. Not only were we seniors in high school about to go out seperate ways (maybe) but I was gonna be a mom. They got on the computer and turned on "You're Gonna Be" by Reba McEntire, It was the first time I heard that song but it fit so well, they are such amazing friends. They knew just how to comfort me.
The lyrics..
6lbs and 9oz. lookin' up at me
Like I have all the answers
I hope I have the ones you need
I've never really done this, now I know what scared is
Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong
Other times I'll let you just find out on your own
But that's when you'll be growin',
And the whole time I'll be knowin
CHORUS:
You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry, but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me
You're gonna be
I'm afraid you'll have to suffer through
some of my mistakes
Lord knows I'll be trying to give you what it takes
What it takes to know the difference
Between getting by and livin'
‘Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way
Just know you'll have to live with all
the choices that you make
So make sure you're always givin' way
more than you're takin'
That night Alyssa came to my rescue & I remember reading her the letter I had wrote to Josh (he was in boot camp at the time, go figure) telling him I was pregnant. I got to the part "please don't leave me" and started to cry and so did she. "You know I'll always be here for you don't you?" THIS people, is why I love my friends so much and they are just like family to me.
OKAY that was long, fast-forward 3 years and here we are! Kinsley was a surprise to the both of us, and she was not an easy baby, but I was 18 years old and extremely selfish & impatient. She honestly saved my life, I love her more every day! Thank you dear Lord for sending her to us!!
Happy 3rd Birthday to MY LITTLE ANGEL!
Presents from Gran gran, thanks!
3 comments:
aww. your story of how u found out sounds like a freaking movie. Or you just write really well ;) I think babies change everything for the better. And Kinsley is definitely lucky to have you as her mama! <3
Awww...I cried! You are such an amzing mom chynna! Everyone makes mistakes in their life but they are there for a reason! Its amazing how much the little bundle they put in your arms can change your whole world. You have done a DAMN good job at raising her!! She is such a joy to be around! Now you, kinsley and josh have an amzing little girl to raise! Kinsey is SUCH a good big sister, she is so sweet to abrielle!!! They are so blessed to have you and josh as their parents!!!
I've never heard that story! It was really neat to read. I have memories too of that house and defantly that bathroom! Having to "watch" you and kenze! I hope Kinsley had a great b'day! And that train isn't driving you too crazy... we have one too! Haha! Kiss those sweet faces for us! XOXOX sister!
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